"I think it’s time for a change. We’ve got to dedicate ourselves to a better world for all people. Peace and justice must be restored to this great land. The tyrant must be overthrown. Terror and bloodshed must be ended. We need a leader with the wisdom and the courage to seep out the old order and create a better world. Down with Charles! Up with ME!"
Pippin assassinates his father and assumes the throne.  Immediately, he begins to implement the changes he promised:
BEGGAR:
Thank you, sire. I am a very poor man. I can’t find work. You have much and I have nothing. Is that fair?
PIPPIN:
No. That’s completely unfair. Treasurer? I order you to distribute money to the poor:
(THEY ALL applaud as the BEGGAR thanks him)
LEADING PLAYER:
King Pippin, the Charitable:
PEASANT:
Sire, I’m a peasant. A simple working man. I own not one millimeter of land on which I’ve worked so hard all my life. Is that fair?
PIPPIN:
No. That’s terrible. But I will do something about it. I hereby decree that from now on all peasants will own the land that they cultivate.
(THEY ALL applaud)
LEADING PLAYER:
King Pippin, the Just:
NOBLE:
Sire, now that you’ve given the land to the peasants, we loyal nobles have no source of income. Therefore, we can no longer pay taxes.
PIPPIN:
Well then I hereby abolish taxes.
(THEY ALL applaud)
SOLDIER:
You realize sire without taxes you’ll have no money to support an army.
PIPPIN:
That’s all right. I don’t need an army. That’s it. No more taxes, no more army.
(THEY ALL applaud)
LEADING PLAYER:
King Pippin, the Peaceful:
FIELD MARSHALL:
Sire, it is my duty to inform you that the Infidel hun has attacked in the East.  He has destroyed three villages, raped hundreds of women. Tortured and murdered thousands of your royal subjects.
PIPPIN:
Can he do that?
FIELD MARSHALL:
He has. But he will withdraw:on one condition.
PIPPIN:
Well, that’s very reasonable. I’m certainly willing to make any small concession. What’s the condition?
FIELD MARSHALL:
He demands your head on a pike staff.
PIPPIN:
Oh. Well, in that case, I guess you’ll just have to go out and destroy the Infidel.
FIELD MARSHALL:
But sire, I have no more men to wage a campaign:I have no money to buy supplies:I have no army.
PIPPIN:
Excuse me a moment. Nobles? You remember that decree I made a little while ago about land and taxes?
NOBLE:
Yes, sire.
PIPPIN:
That’s off.
NOBLE:
You mean you want me to pay taxes again and raise an army?
PIPPIN:
Yes. That’s right.
NOBLE:
But sire, without land I have neither money nor power over the peasants.
PIPPIN:
Oh, yes, that’s a very good point. I hereby suspend land reform.
PEASANT:
Suspend land reform? Why the hell should I work when the poor get handouts from the royal treasury?
PIPPIN:
You’re absolutely right. I hereby revoke charity to the poor.
BEGGAR:
Up thine, sire.
PIPPIN:
Take that man away and hang him! No. Stop! Wait! Could you just let me think a minute, please.
Come on, you know that you can picture this scene with Obama as Pippin .....